When I think of what has changed in the middle of all of this, I would say quite a lot of things. My perception of life changed completely. I was convinced that life was indestructible, mine and the people I love that are around me. I felt I was a thick armoured steel bullet and mine proof tank that would plough through life until my old age. I was wrong.
Life is fragile. Very fragile. More like a glass ornament that you would have at home made of very very thin glass that risks being broken at at any moment.
The change of perception that life is so fragile angers me because I have become aware of a reality that I didn’t know existed or preferred to ignore. I feel betrayed, because this is not what I bargained or signed up for. But in life, you can’t ask for your money back or exchange it for what you thought it was. It is what it is. It’s fragile and very delicate.
…and because it is fragile and delicate and I do not know if a gust of wind may come along and change that, that I have also learnt to appreciate it more as it currently is. To treasure it and to relish the moments that I have with my loved ones.
Cancer has taught me how wonderful it is to be alive and how everything can change so suddenly. It has taught me to live one day at a time and to enjoy it as much as possible. I remember this every day and try remind myself how fortunate I am to be alive. I get to be a player in life and have a ticket to participate – to be a witness to my sons growth, an influencer in his life and a husband to my wife. It reminds me just how much I love my family.
Its 05h30 and I am counting the minutes for him to wake up, to give him a hug and celebrate another day together!
Above, a day at the beach a couple of weeks ago with my almost 2 year old son! Looks like he is outgrowing his little hat!